Reunions

Last week I took a trip to Philadelphia and from there I went to North Carolina to attend the wedding of a friend who I know from my time in Uganda. Below are some pictures of many joyous reunions.


Three future Sudan teammates bundled for the cold Philly weather laughing because soon we will forget what it is like to wear scarfs, heavy coats, and gloves.

It is always strange to see Uganda teammates stateside, with our spiffed up clothes and new hair styles.

Remembering those fun Bundibugyo dance parties as we boogie down on the dance floor at the reception.

A teacher and student reunited.

I am so thankful that the Lord continues to bring us together and reminds us we are connected no matter what.

“This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says:

“In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it. You said, ‘No, we will flee on horses.’ Therefore you will flee! You said, ‘We will ride off on swift horses.’ Therefore your pursuers will be swift. A thousand will flee at the threat of one; at the threat of five you will all flee away, till you are left like a flagstaff on a mountaintop, like a banner on a hill.”
Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!” Isaiah 30:15-18

Life can be hard. Every day we face dozens of choices, pressures of work undone, the voice in our head that says, ‘don’t stop, go, go, go.’ When I feel the weight of the tasks before me I tend to push harder, run faster, and stretch myself further. When the weight becomes unbearable, I then become ready to mount my horse and flee as far as I can. But however fast we run whether to catch up or get ahead we will just end up feeling defeated when we try and do the impossible on our own. This last weekend I was blessed with a restful getaway with some close friends. For 2 whole days we left the distractions of our daily lives and filled our days instead with good conversation, games, food, sleep, movies, more food, and reflections on how the Lord’s hand has been at work in each of our lives. We left on Sunday feeling rested, refreshed, and stuffed to the limit. And although, yes, we did travel to a place that was free from our daily tasks to have a restful weekend… the beauty of rest is that we do not always have to getaway and escape. The Lord offers rest even in the hustle and bustle of daily living through offering Himself and His promises. The Lord does not promise that life will be easy or fair. Praise God that it is not, because it is through obstacles that we are broken and reminded of our great need for Jesus. And although the Lord does not promise a life of ease, He does promise grace, love, mercy and a deeper relationship with Him.

Delight

According to Webster delight is the following:
“a high degree of gratification; Joy ; also: extreme satisfaction”

While I was in college I was a nanny for about 3 years. This last weekend I spent the day with the two children that I help care for during those years. Through my time with them I was reminded that extreme satisfaction does not come from possessions, circumstances, or accomplishments. We find true delight through relationship. Delight is found in the precious moments when we are completely present with whatever person we are with and thankful for what is right before us. On Saturday I found myself laughing, smiling, and being filled with joy because the two kids I was with were so delighted just spending time with me. I found delight in their delight. I am sure parents you experience this time and again with your children. The Lord used this weekend to remind me of how much He, as my Father, delights in me. I remember this last summer when I was in Ireland, I was at this gorgeous lush park standing at one of the higher peaks looking down on this breathtaking view, and at that moment I felt overwhelmed by the amount of joy and delight that filled my heart and soul. This was not because of the beauty that I was surrounded by but because I was standing there in the presence of my heavenly Father enjoying this precious moment with Him alone.
The Lord’s word tells us that He delights in giving us our deepest desires. However, our deepest desire should be a deeper relationship with Him. In Him we find our greatest delight.

“The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17

This week let’s listen for the Lord’s song, allow Him to quiet us with His love, and let’s find delight in the precious moments the Lord gives us when it is just us and Him enjoying one another’s presence.

An Anchor for the Soul

My mind has been in a million places in the last week. I go from thinking about Andy to thinking about eternity and about life and what it is we are living for. I live for Jesus and am filled with a thankful heart for His love, grace, and strength. My heart breaks for those who experience tragedy or suffering and can’t see past the pain and the brokenness. I am thankful to love and live for a God who gives me hope and fills my heart with comfort, peace, and joy and increases my intimacy with Him through pain and suffering. Each day is a gift. I desire to live each day to the fullest. To wake up each morning and breath in a new day. To offer myself again to the Lord to reflect His love, His grace, His hope, and His glory. Through the brokenness my desire only increases for those who are overcome by this brokenness and do not have the hope of Jesus to hold onto, to have faith that one day the heaviness will be no more.


“Because God wanted to make the unchanging nature of his purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised, he confirmed it with an oath. God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope offered to us may be greatly encouraged. We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where Jesus, who went before us, has entered on our behalf. He has become a high priest forever, in the order of Melchizedek.” Hebrews 6:17-20

There Will Be A Day

Andrew Joseph Chappon
March 21, 1980- October 23, 2008

I feel like I am drowning in the brokenness of this world. All that I have to hold onto is Jesus and the hope of eternity with Him. I found out on Friday that a good friend of mine passed away on Thursday Oct. 23. Even as I write this blog entry I am still in complete shock. I wish someone could just pinch me really hard and I could wake up from this horrible dream. Praise God that we can have hope that one day there will be no more brokenness.

“There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, no more fears.
There will be a day when the burdens of this place will be no more; we’ll see Jesus face to face.
But until that day we will hold on to you always.” Jeremy Camp

I look forward to the day when I will stand before Jesus with my friend Andy and we will bow down before our Savior together. Until then my dear friend you will be missed greatly.

No More Circles

On Sunday I went to a corn maze to celebrate the fall months and welcome the frigid air. The maze started out surprisingly easy. I began to think to myself, “come on this is not what mazes are about. They are about getting lost and the challenge of finding your way out.” Of course it wasn’t long though before we began to walk in circles and get frustrated over passing the same signs over and over. It is funny how when things are too easy we say, “bring on the challenges,” yet when the challenges come we get frustrated and begin complaining. This pretty much defines my last two weeks, lost (hence no blog update in that time). In these two weeks I subbed for two different classes, both pretty challenging groups. I found myself being short with the students and turning into the kind of teacher I despise. I felt far from gracious and loving and literally felt like I was walking in circles. I got frustrated with myself because I wasn’t handling things the way that I thought I could. I began to complain to friends when things were not going the way that I wanted. This time back in Washington is supposed to be about spending time with family/friends, support raising, and teaching on the side because I love teaching. But here I was over committing myself and allowing this stress to pour into my life that just caused me to become someone that I am not. My breaking point was Tuesday night. You know that point when you come to the end of yourself and you finally realize that trying to do things by your own strength gets you nowhere. Praise God for these times and things that knock me in the head and remind me that I need Jesus. Because of the strength of Jesus and His grace and love I was able to end my day on Friday with a smile and even cheer on some of the students in their school soccer game.

On Sunday I had the privilege of speaking at my home church. Through speaking the Lord reminded me of the vision, passion, and desires that He has placed within my heart. How amazing that just a week ago my heart felt cold and hard, yet today through Jesus I am filled instead with joy and warmth. And even though being filled with joy and warmth is enough, Jesus also blessed me through encouraging words from my fellow brothers and sisters. After I shared I received so many kind words and so many were interested in hearing more about southern Sudan. And the awesomeness continued through getting an opportunity to meet one of the Lost Boys who just happened to show up to my home church on this Sunday of all Sundays. I couldn’t have hidden my excitement even if I tried. As people came up to me to ask more questions, I wanted to answer them, but I was more excited to introduce this man I don’t even know because it is stories like his that draw my heart more and more to s. Sudan. It was a day full of undeserved blessings.

I praise God for reawakening my neediness and helping me realize that I was getting lost in my circumstances. He is the one that I am living for and therefore there is no reason I should feel lost.
“In your unfailing love you will lead the people you have redeemed. In your strength you will guide them to your holy dwelling.” Exodus 15:13

Moldy Shoes

I was at the shoe store today. As I opened the box, ready to try on the shoes the salesman just brought me I smelled a familiar pungent odor. Sure enough as I lifted the paper lying over the shoes I could see the evidence; moldy shoes. Not something you would expect at an American retail store. I did not freak out or get grossed out; instead I couldn’t help but laugh. The salesman was probably surprised when I brought the box back to him laughing, asking for another pair to try. For over two years I lived in a place where if I wasn’t careful with how I stored things or cleaned things mold would most definitely show up. I remember many occasions when I would open a trunk and be forced to breath in that nice fragrant fungus. I was never surprised to find moldy clothes, shoes, sheets etc. One time when I was traveling I decided to shove all my dirty clothes into one backpack and just left it like that until I returned back home. I think I may have put a slightly damp garment in there as well. Anyways, I am sure you can imagine what I found when that backpack was finally opened.

So although these are not the most pleasant of experiences, I am still thankful for the smile and laughter they bring. I am thankful for anything that floods me with memories of a place, person, or time that I love, even moldy shoes.

Neediness

For those of you who know me, you know that I do not like to come across as a needy person. I would much rather be that person who helps the needy, the one who steps up and does things for others, the person that people can always count on. So, here I am in the middle of raising support for southern Sudan and there is no way around displaying my neediness. This last week though I realized that raising support is not just about my need for prayer and financial support. Don’t get me wrong, those are very important and I won’t be able to go to Sudan without support from individuals and churches, but support raising is first and foremost about my need for Jesus. The Lord does not need me to write e-mails/letters or to make phone calls. The only need is my own. The Lord knows my need and He is more than capable to provide without my help. But yet He invites me to walk with Him because through this invitation my faith will increase. It is very possible that with each e-mail and phone call my monthly support may not increase at all. But what will increase is my dependence and trust in the Lord. When I finally do reach 100% of my support it will be because He is the Ultimate Provider. I will continue to walk with my Father because I know that through each e-mail, phone call, or meeting I am reminded of my need for Him. I want to embrace these opportunities to express my neediness and to hold tight to the truth that without Jesus it would all be pointless. So, today I thank Jesus for my neediness. And I continue to pray that through my neediness and weakness I would become more and more aware of His strength and Almighty Presence.

From Doing to Being

These days I feel like I am just going through the motions of life. It is like I have forgotten what I am doing, doing being the imperative word which I will get back to in a minute. On Monday i was thrown a little off course as I walked into the primary school that I was to sub at for the next four days, to find out that I would not be teaching, but would be assisting a handful of teachers with various aid jobs because their classes are overloaded. I will confess that my first thought was "Are you kidding me?" I couldn't help but begin to think about what I would rather be doing or about my long to do list waiting for me back home. I left Monday feeling like I had been in the way more than helpful. But later that evening I also felt frustrated and gross over my poor attitude. This is when I realized that I have returned to an ongoing struggle. A struggle where I think time is waisted if I am not doing what I think I should be doing. And we are back to the doing. This is where I have things a little mixed up, thinking that the doing is the most important thing. It is true that doing is an important part of life. We should get out of bed each day, eat, support our families, invest in relationships, etc. But it is when we rely on this doing to bring complete fulfillment that the mixing up begins to happen and we will instead feel empty. Instead of waking up each morning and asking myself, "What am I going to do today?" I need to instead be saying, "Lord, I long to be close to you today."
For each day is a day with the Lord, a day to reflect His character, to walk by faith, to grow, and to find fullfillment through an intimate relationship with Jesus.

"Even the most routine part of your day can be an act of spiritual worship, holy and pleasing to Me." Sarah Young (Jesus Calling)

The Thrill of the Ride

I hope I am one of those people who continue to enjoy the thrills of vertical drops well into my golden years.
This past weekend I went camping in northern Idaho with two friends that I have known since 3rd grade. It was a carefree weekend full of fun, excitement, and lots of laughter. With a lot of history comes a lot of reminiscing. We have walked through many seasons of life together, from curious childhood to awkward adolescence. We have walked together through those confusing times of figuring out who we are and who we want to become. And now here we are and even though we still don't have everything figured out, we grasp onto the moments when we can enjoy the thrill of the ride.This weekend I was reminded again how I have been blessed with great friends. Friends who I have truly experienced life with, both the good and the bad, and through it all we have watched one another grow. It is weekends like this, when you are pulled out of the routines of daily life, that you can truly kickback and really enjoy what is right in front of you.
I still don't know what the next few months are going to look like let alone the next week, but I am ready to take one day on at a time. Bring on the rollercoasters!!

Living in the Moment

My travels are almost over, at least for now. Today I will be leaving the east coast to head back to Washington. These last few days have been amazing. The Lord has provided opportunities for me to reconnect with past team mates and other friends. After a some what busy summer it has been nice to slowly ease back into life in the states. In the last fews days I have been blessed with rest, good and long conversations, good company, trips to new places, sleep with very little disturbance from jetlag, and reminders that the Lord really does delight in providing what I need. Even with the anticipation of more transition ahead, I have really been able to live in the moment and am thankful for each present day.
On one of my long flights back I watched the movie Kung Fu Panda. It is a humorous family friendly animated movie about a Panda whose dream is to become a Kung Fu warrior, but in reality all odds are against him. However, He was chosen to become this great warrior and the only one that could defeat the enemy. Many did not believe that He was the one and at a point of discouragement one of the wise masters shared the following proverb:
"Yesterday is in the past, tomorrow is a myster, but today is a gift and that is why it is called the present." He was encouraging the Panda to live in the moment and make the most out of it. We can't get discouraged by what has already happened or by what we don't even know is going to happen. This part of the movie really sticks in my mind because so often I dwell on the past and worry about the future instead of being thankful for the gift of a new day and new opportunities. As I continue to live a life of transition, I continue to pray that I live in each moment and that I turly see the present as a gift.

Moving on to London

Our tour of Ireland is now over. We arrived in London yesterday afternoon. Below are a few more pictures from our southern Ireland adventure.

I am walking up 100 stairs to see the amazing view in the picture below.
This is one of the largest Georgian houses in Ireland. We walked through some of the rooms hearing about what life was like during the victorian times.

This is a traditional farm cottage.

Grandma and I standing in front of some remains from a fort built along the water for security.

The Cliffs of Moher.

Castles, Crystal, and a Pillow

We started our driving adventure today. My assigned job is the official navigator. Pretty much I look for signs, read the map, and make sure my mom stays on the left side of the road. Today we saw a castle full of Victorian history and the Waterford Crystal factory, whose crystal has adorned houses for centuries now.



This is the Kilkenny Castle

This is a replica of the crystal ball that drops in NYC on New Years Eve, which is made with Waterford Crystal.

This is the quaint little B&B where we are laying our heads for the night.

An old monastery tower where the monks would take refuge when danger struck. It has a very tiny window at the top. What a view!

Me, a Rock, a Lake, and Jesus

One of the reasons I came to Ireland was to have some intentional intimate time with Jesus. The Lord answered this prayer through a rock which became my quiet niche and through leading me to a ridge that looked down to a peacefull lake. As I sat or stood in these beautiful places, surrounded by the intricate design of our Creator, I reflected on the words of Jesus:

Words of invitation- "Come and follow me."

Words of assurance- "Do not be afriad."

Words of promise- "I will always be with you."

Part of me expected that through this intentional meeting, the Lord would convict me of my sin and pretty much tell me all the things I need to change. Instead the opposite happened. Joy, peace, and comfort came with the truth that the Lord knit me together. That I am part of His intricate design. I am His image bearer and His beloved. Transformation comes through truly believing these certainties.

So now here I am longing to live like a daughter who is deeply loved by her Father.

The Journey Continues

I am thankful that the Lord called me back to Bundibugyo, even for a short time. That short time is now over and the Lord is calling me to move on to other things. The interns left Uganda this morning and should be arriving in London in the next couple of hours. I will leave Uganda on Friday and until then take some time to relax at our "home away from home" in Kampala. I am thankful that my team mate Heidi is in Kampala for an internship. This means as I sit around, reflect, rest, and wait for my departure on Friday I will be in good company and blessed with good and helpful conversations.
I will not be going straight back to Seattle from here. I will first go to Ireland for a spiritual retreat and some touring around with my mother and grandmother. Then I will spend some time in Philly. It will be 3 weeks of moving around and living out of a duffle bag, but I am sure that it will be worth the good and stretching times that come. I will be updating my blog when I can along the way. I look forward to seeing some of you when I can finally settle down for a bit again.

Joyful Goodbyes

Although it is hard to say goodbye, I am filled with joy and thanksgiving. I continue to be thankful for the opportunity to return to Bundibugyo. Thankful to see friends again, play with the school children more, teach new things, appreciate full moons, ride my bike and walk down the road, and for the ability to bask in the Lord's glory that is revealed in this place. The Lord continues to give me a thankful heart for the times and moments he has given me in this place. Even in the last two days He has surprised me with some good times as I say goodbye to those I love and will miss dearly. Even though I am still not ready to leave, my heart is truly filled with joy believing that the Lord is going to surprise me with His goodness in each moment that still lays ahead.

Beckoned to Come Freely

“Only by realizing the reality of the pain and acknowledging through lament to God our powerlessness and hopelessness, can we arrive at such a place of freedom as David Inhabited.” Michael Card (A Sacred Sorrow)

As a team we are studying a book on lament. Last week we focused on the life of David, a man after God’s own heart. David freely cried out to God in times of distress and desperation. This acknowledgement of pain, powerlessness, and hopelessness always led him back to worship. I continue to struggle with this idea of lament. I don’t allow myself to feel powerless or hopeless. I realized that because I am surrounded by so much injustice and suffering that many times I feel like when I am in distress I have no right to cry out when my distress seems like nothing compared to my neighbors. But this week I have truly reached the end of myself and for that I am thankful. The Lord is slowly breaking my walls of fear down, showing me that I cannot be Miss Fix It. This week He has shown me that I am powerless and through my powerlessness I can become hopeless. I found myself discouraged thinking of this young boy who I used to help financially with school, who while I was gone made some really bad choices, dropped out of school, and moved away from home. I met with him yesterday, but my heart feels hopeless. Is there anything that I can say or do that will change his heart? Can I really believe him when he says his behavior is improving? I also found out recently that two girls from my past discipleship group have made some bad choices at school. One of them is only a few months away from completing her high school education and now because of this choice she may have ruined her chances of finishing or at least finishing well. More powerlessness, more hopelessness. I am only remaining with 3 days in Bundibugyo. I am not ready to go, yet I am powerless. I have now truly arrived at this place of freedom where I am now crying out to God:

“How long O Lord will ears and hearts stay closed?
Will hearts ever change?
Is your kingdom really coming?
Will the walls of fear we put up ever be destroyed and broken down?
Why Lord is it time for me to go, yet I don’t feel ready?
Why do you throw me into relationships just to pull me right back out again?
I hope in people and then become disappointed.
I trust in myself and become defeated.
I come to you now out of my powerlessness, finding hope in your power, your grace, and your mercy.
For you O Lord have ordained each of our days. You discern our going out and our laying down and are familiar with all our ways.
You are the only one who can change hearts and can pursue us to the depths of our soul.
Though pain comes through sadness and loss of relationship, still you are there.
You say to me, ‘Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.
For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Isreael, your Savior.’ (Isaiah 43)
Cleanse me with your water O Lord, and refine me by your fire. My hope is in you."

Why Does the Rooster Crow?

I used to think that roosters only crowed in the morning to welcome the new day as the sun rose. I also thought that it was one hearty welcoming crow and then that was that. Living in Uganda I have learned otherwise. I wake up each morning to the sound of our neighbor’s rooster. It usually crows when I am not ready to get up and I always lay in bed hoping that it will let up and realize that everyone has now heard that a new day has begun, but no, it keeps on crowing. My rooster ignorance continued to show when I kept hearing the rooster at random times during the day. My ignorance also shows that I am very much a girl who grew up in the city. Finally I looked online to gain a better understanding of why a rooster really does crow. I learned that roosters crow any time of day to mark their territory, to communicate to other roosters/hens, or when they find something to eat. Sometimes a rooster crows just because they hear another rooster crow, which makes a lot of sense because here in Bundi you hear one, you hear many. This new realization has softened my annoyance with the neighbor rooster a bit, although I am sure the rooster somehow knows the amount of cock a doodle doos it takes to get me out of bed :).

Sleeping in the Wild

At the tail end of our week away we went to Queen Elizabeth National Park. I finally got to opportunity to camp at Campsite 2 which is within the national park. As the sun went down I could hear the animals beginning to move around, Hyenas yipping, hippos snorting, lions roaring, ... No fear though, the sounds were pretty far. Considering all the stories I have heard from other Campsite 2 experiences I think we had a pretty tame night. A fire was kept going all night to scare any animals away and it never sounded like anything got extremely close to our site. I think the noises I heard the most were from those in their tents tossing and turning and those getting up and down tending to the fire. We get up extremely early to go on a game drive since the animals move around at that time to catch their breakfast. As we were driving it was still a bit dark, but the Myhre children were up on the roof rack with a spotlight, shining it back and forth on each side of the road. About 1 mile or less from our campsite one of the kids notice some glowing eyes and shined the spotlight. It was a beautiful leopard, the one animal that I had yet to see at Queen Elizabeth. As you can imagine the leopard didn’t really like having the light shined down on it, so after a minute or two it got up and walked away. After that glorious moment we joked about going back to the campsite for breakfast because we knew that nothing else on our game drive would probably top the leopard sighting.

Look at my lovely Tukul! This will possibly be my first house in Mundri.

After a squished car ride and a night in Kampala we left for Mundri, s. Sudan on Tuesday morning. I knew going that this time would be different. When I was in Mundri last year the new location had not yet been appointed. Now that Mundri is the official site for the new Sudan team, it is slowly becoming a reality that soon it will be my home. This time as I walked down the road passing men, women, and children I greeted them with the thought in my head that soon all of these people are going to be my neighbors, some will become close friends, and some of the children I might be teaching or interacting with on a daily basis. My love for the Moru people increased greatly in my three days there.
One of my goals for this trip was to have a meeting about primary education with those from the church and district who are involved with education development. The Lord answered this prayer with a 2 ½ hour meeting where we were all able to share our vision for education in Mundri and also those present who are currently involved in the schools were able to share the struggles they were facing. I came out of the meeting feeling ready to dive right in. The thought of having to wait 6 more months seems like a life time away, but I know that the Lord still has some preparing to do in my heart. Before the education meeting I took some time to go and visit the Parish school. I first greeted the preschool children who were over 200 in number and then the rest of the school which I am told there are close to 900 students when they are all present. It was a bit intimidating walking into the middle of their square formation where they responded to their head teacher with a chant and some stomping. It was almost as if I was in the middle of an army brigade responding to their commanding officer. I felt like I was shouting when I greeted because I wanted to make sure they all could hear and understand me. They responded with a very warm welcome and much enthusiasm. Soon after the students dispersed to their classrooms, I moved around to each class and even sat in on an Arabic class where I learned the word for bell.
Right now it is the middle of the rainy season. However, we were there for almost 3 days and it did not rain a single drop. It seems the rain must come in spurts. If I were to guess I would say the temperature was in the 90s most of the time. It did seem pretty hot. When it is hot out people do a lot of sitting because it is too hot to move around. While we were there I was introduced to the custom of sitting under the mango tree. During different parts of the day there are certain places that one should sit. In the morning you start inside the round hut where you are served tea and bread. Once breakfast is over the chairs are all moved outside under a huge mango tree which provides sufficient shade. The chairs remain there for most of the day and then like clockwork they are moved again to a different area outside because the placement of the sun had shifted and the shade of the mango tree is no longer enough. When I head to Mundri more permanently at the beginning of 2009 it will be the hottest time of year. I think I will be doing a lot of mango tree sitting at that time. But I look forward to getting to know my neighbors, future colleagues, and friends as we sit together and enjoy the blessing of a Mango tree’s shade.

Back From the Journey

We have arrived back safely from our adventurous week. Even though our week was full of transit, I have arrived back feeling a bit refreshed, not too exhausted, and extremely happy to sleep in my own bed again. During our 6 nights away I slept in 4 different beds, I saw my future home, had a very successful education meeting in Mundri, was squished in the backseat of a truck with 3 other grown people for over 6 hours taking turns leaning forward and back as we went, went camping for a night, and saw a leopard. It was one jammed pack week and I praise God for orchestrating every minute of it. Please stay tuned for details and pictures. Thanks for all your prayers!!

We Are Never Alone

This week I was given a new perspective on frustration over injustice and suffering. Many times my ignorance can blind me from seeing what is really going on around me or to doubt that God is really present. This last Thursday we watched the movie Shooting Dogs, which I recommend to everybody. It is a difficult movie to watch, but very powerful. It is about the Rwanda genocide and the difficult things that happened during that time. At one point in the movie this young British missionary who has just seen mutilated bodies, and one of his friends with a bloody machete, ask “where is God?” I confess that I too ask this question sometimes. When hungry children are always knocking at my door, when I hear the stories of children dying at the health center, when the poor is stealing from the poor… Later in the movie when this British missionary and a British priest have to make the decision of whether to stay or go, the priest answers the young man’s question by saying that God is right here, hurting and suffering right along with His children and He will never leave them. Sometimes I cry out to God either for myself or for others thinking He is this far away God who doesn’t understand the pain. But he understands pain and suffering far greater than I or anyone else ever could. He weeps and mourns with those hurting and grieving more than I ever could, He faces rejection more than I ever will, and He cries out for His children who are hungry. I think at times I believe that if I think this way about God, it somehow belittles him, but really it makes Him even greater. We serve a God who not only protects us, but also suffers and cries with us, and understands on a far greater level all that we see and feel.

A few pics from the week

This last week at St. Padre Pio one of the interns and I took some time to sit with the students during their break time. Each day they are given about a 30 min. break to eat porage and rest. I enjoyed just being surrounded by the students and their bright curious faces.

A couple of days a week I have been going out into the villages to conduct a survey on primary education. These children were at one of the homes that I stopped at last week, and it was the first time they had ever seen a digital camera. I sometimes wonder what must go through someone's head when they see themselves on the little screen. These children could not stop laughing and jumping.

This last Saturday some of us went on a hike up the mountains. We ended up getting caught in a rain storm, which felt good at first and then a little miserable after a short time. Although it is a pretty strenuous hike and I am still stiff and sore, it is worth every step. I can't even begin to describe the beauty of walking in the forest, looking accross the valleys towards the other mountains in Congo, looking down at the villages, and at one point being surrounded by bamboo.

Unconditional Love

These children are holding a portrait that they drew of themselves and at the top it says "I am loved by God."

“I will sing of the Lord’s great love forever; with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations. I will declare that your love stands firm forever, that you established your faithfulness in heaven itself.” Psalm 89:1-2
Today at St. Padre Pio I taught a lesson about God’s unconditional love. I started out by asking them to think about the word love and what it means to them. Some of the students put up their hand and gave some sentences using the word love. Some examples were; “I love my father because he pays school fees.” Or “I love my parents because they buy me books.” All of the sentences that were shared used the word because followed by a condition. I found this very interesting and convicting because too often do I love only conditionally. I love a person only when they act the way that I want them to or according to the way a person loves and treats me. But God’s word clearly says we are to love even our enemies. I transitioned our discussion to asking about God’s love for us. I asked if there was anything we could do that could change the way the Lord loves us. Does God love me more when I am good? Many students responded with yes. How often do I think the same way? Our human nature sometimes wants to limit God’s love, but it is not possible.
If then I truly believe that God’s love is unconditional, that there is nothing I can do that will change the way He loves me, how then should this truth impact the way that I love others? The Lord was speaking to my heart today, just as much as He was to the children’s. Often times I lack this kind of love. I miss opportunities to show God’s unconditional love and His never ending outpouring of grace. I pray the students were also challenged to think about the love of God in a new way. And that they would truly see examples of His unconditional love in their lives.

Ready Set Go!

As one of the priests always says, “It brings warmth to the heart to see children having a good time.” What a true statement. Playing games with the children at school is one of my favorite things. Today one of the interns and I played some games with two of the classes at St. Padre Pio. We started with a game of crab football (soccer). The kids really seemed to get a kick out of this game (no pun intendedJ). Because the grass had just been slashed they were kicking dead grass up along with the ball. The game sadly had to end after a bit when the ball lost its air after the seal somehow came out. We spent a little time looking for the small seal, but it was literally like trying to find a needle in a haystack.
Later with another class, we played the game red light green light. However, these children have never seen a stop light and therefore couldn’t associate the colors with go, stop, and slow. They still enjoyed the game though, and it was quite amusing to watch them. Even when games don’t turn out the way I expect, the kids always have a good time and that is all that matters.

White Teeth

I realized after it was already placed there, that White Teeth is a very appropriate book to use as a weight for this orange basin. It was the gnawing sound of white teeth that woke me from a peaceful sleep last night and kept me awake for 2 hours. If you haven’t guessed already the white teeth belong to a pesky rat that has decided to find shelter in our house. My half awake, half asleep state kept me from tearing my room apart to try and find the pesky creature. And the fact that I really didn’t want the thing scurrying over my bare feet. I did finally fall back to sleep and woke up pretty sure that it was no longer hiding out in one of my drawers, but still rather annoyed.
This evening our new found pesky friend came out again. One of my roommates encountered it as she went down the hall, gave a little scream and ran back out to our front room as the rat darted down the hall in the opposite direction. At first we didn’t know where it went, but then it was spotted in one of the bedrooms. We all grabbed out necessary weapons (2 golf clubs, a very heavy and thick pounding stick, and an orange basin) and shut ourselves in the room. The question then remained; did we really know what we were doing? None of us really had the gumption to give it a deadly whack. So instead it became a game of shooing the rat around to try and get it to an open space where the orange basin could be thrown on top of it. After about 20 minutes of chasing the rat around the room, we finally succeeded with the basin. What next? Still no gumption for the kill. The rat now remains under the basin, with the heavy books weighing it down, over some powdered rat poison. Yes, we are pretty ridiculous. How we will tell when it dies, I am not quite sure.

Food and Faith

Thursday was a Kwejuna distribution. This is where mothers with HIV come and after a day of weighing, testing, shot giving, and a message from Scott, they are given a HUGE bag of beans along with 3 liters of oil and two bags of salt. A very exciting day for all who come including those who help. The interns and I had the privilege of participating. While two of the interns helped weigh and measure the mothers and their children, I and another intern met with small groups of women to hear their prayer requests and pray for them. As each request was being translated for me to understand, it became a very sobering experience. These women are some of the most courageous women. Not only are they trying to care for themselves, but they are still trying their best to care for their family. Many women shared that they are always feeling weak and tired, but still have to work. They are struggling to provide for the needs of their children. My heart broke with each request. The path that these women are walking down is a path that I can’t even begin to relate to and here they were sharing their struggles with me. These women are not only living with this virus, which has no cure, but they could also be living in very poor conditions, no home, sometimes ostracized from their families because of the stigma still connected with HIV/AIDS, and because their immune system is weakening there are susceptible to so many other sicknesses. My biggest prayer for all of these women is that they would continue to believe that the Lord loves them even as they walk this very difficult path.
I also had a turn weighing mothers and children. Many of the infants do not like being placed in the weighing basket, which to them must have felt very insecure and unsafe. I also got to hold many of these precious babies as the mothers were weighed. Once everyone went through each station there was a time of waiting as all the food was brought in. Scott spoke to the women using the story of Job and how he never gave up even after everything was taken from him and he never lost faith. From the reactions of the women I could tell that they were relating to the story being told. Please pray that they would continue to have faith that the Lord is always present and His love never changes.

A Wet Arrival

As a team we were so excited for the interns to arrive that we were willing to stand in the pouring rain. There were many delays throughout the morning that postponed their arrival, mainly weather, that they did not arrive until around 1:30pm. We really thought that because of the weather they would not be able to land on our airstrip, but the bold and courageous pilot braved the rain and cloud cover and landed with no problems. The interns along with a returning team member exited the plane with smiles on their faces and excited to finally be here. We all ran up to them and gave them big WET hugs.

Reuniting

Friday was a day of reuniting. First, I went and greeted the two schools that I taught in the last few months I was in Bundibugyo. As I came up to the first school the children were taking their break. When they saw me they started jumping up and down. This of course made me smile and I waved to them all before I entered the staff room to surprise the teachers. Only a couple of teachers I knew from before were there along with a couple of new ones. I sat with them as we went around and shared how life has been the last 4 or so months. When the students were back in their classrooms I went around and greeted them all. When I asked them if they remember me they a kind of ah huh sound that means yes. When I asked them what my name was they called out Madam Kim (or some say Kimi or Kimu). Praise God for special times like these. St. Padre Pio has developed a lot of improvements and really brings much excitement to my heart because it has the potential of being an amazing primary school.
I was also warmly greeted by the staff at St. Mercy. Before leaving Uganda I met with these teachers each week for teacher training. I was happy to see that most of the staff was still present and teaching. They told me that they were looking forward to talking with me more about how they have been applying the things we talked about in the fall and showing me how they have been using the materials I left. I was very encouraged by both school visits. The Lord is really moving in both places. Teachers are learning how to create safe and better learning environments. I also really felt like they cared deeply about the success and growth of their students. I anticipate many more visits over the summer and look forward to how the Lord will teach us all through these times.
Another exciting reunion was with the pottery house. We were almost to the house when we met some of our pottery friends on the road returning home. It is fun to catch people by surprise and to see their excited expressions. We walked together the rest of the way. As we walked up to the house I saw the woman I had the deepest friendship with, her back to me beginning to fire the pots. When she heard the commotion of us coming she turned around, noticed it was me, threw her hands in the air, and yelled eeeeeeeeeeeeehh. She ran up to me and gave me the biggest hug. They quickly got us chairs and one by one came up to greet. Everyone, including myself couldn’t stop smiling.
This day was a reminder to me that even with cultural and language barriers relationships are possible. Although it is easier to build relationships with people we have things in common with, we learn so much more from one another through our differences.

Returning

Last Saturday I made the long journey back to Bundibugyo. On the way back I had a lot of time to think about what was ahead and what I was returning to. I thought about how things would be different; some team members would no longer be there, some of my cell group students may no longer be at Christ School, my role would be different… but at the same time I was full of thanksgiving. What a gift it is to travel back to a place like Bundibugyo, a place that became another home, a place that you can’t help but be reminded of God’s greatness through its beauty. With a thankful heart I began to think about all that was to come. I began to think about what it was going to be like to reunite with friends and neighbors, to speak Lubwisi again, to wake up to birds chirping and roosters crowing and to fall asleep to the pitter patter of rain and the croaking of frogs, to walk in the dark, to sit with people, to play with children and hear their laughter, to cook from scratch, and to just live simply.
Now that I have returned, there will be a lot of readjusting, but at the same time the rhythm of life here is so familiar and is not easily forgettable. As I walked down the road again it felt like only days or weeks since I had done it last instead of months. There have been many warm greetings from friends and neighbors, each person saying “well be back,” their way of saying welcome back. Each person also asking about each of my family members knowing the importance of time spent with family. I look forward to each day knowing that each moment is precious and a chance to see God’s glory revealed. Each breath is a gift, both my own and to those around me. My prayer is that I would continue to appreciate each moment that I am given, that my eyes and heart would be open to seeing Jesus in the things and people placed before me, and with each moment , both hard and fun would bring increased joy, and glory to our Father.

I Arrived!!!

I have arrived in Uganda after a very long journey and mulitple nights of little sleep. The Entebbe airport has improved a lot since I was last through there. There is actually a real baggage claim now. As I stood waiting for my luggage I partly expected it not to be there since that has happened to me mulitple times. This time though I am happy to say that all three of my bags arrived. I was greeted at the airport by three of my teammates. It is amazing how even though I have been away for 5 months, it feels like I never left. Once I arrived at my Kampala accomodation I was greeted by more friendly faces from both the staff and more teammates. My next few days I will be trying to get over jetlag, shopping for the summer supplies, and starting preparations for the summer interns. Saturday I will leave Kampala and head back to Bundibugyo. Thank you for praying for my travels. They really did go as smoothly as could be expected.

And I Am Off Again

Two weeks in counting! On May 17th I will be heading to Philly for a couple of days before leaving on the 19th for Uganda. Time has gone by so quickly. I am leaving so thankful for the good times I have had in the last 5 months in Seattle and I will miss everyone. But at the same time, I am SUPER excited to return to Uganda. I will be in Uganda for about two months and then I will return to Seattle before I take off again. Even though I returning to many changes and some sad things will hit me once again, I am looking forward to those stretching moments. My desire for dependency on the Lord is great and I know that I can't get through even a day of life in Bundi without the strength of Jesus. I am already smiling as I think about what it is going to be like to see my neighbors again, to visit the pottery house, to be in the schools again, to reunite with team mates, and to begin new relationships. I know that it will not be an easy summer and so I need your prayers. Not only will I be responsible for my own time and schedule, but also the activities and schedules of 3 other people. With responsibilities comes the temptation to be prideful, self-sufficient, too caught up in reputation, a people pleaser, etc. Pray that I would listen to the voice of Jesus and trust the Spirit to lead. I will try my level best to update this blog with both the joys and struggles of my summer in Bundi and more specifics on how you can be praying.

"Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is A God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!" Isaiah 30:18

"The way to serve God so that He gets the glory is to look to Him for mercy. Prayer prevents service from being an expression of pride." John Piper

Let the Good Times Continue!

Living in transition is not an easy thing, but the Lord always surprises me. While in Washington I have had so many good times and have been so blessed through each moment. I am learning that transition doesn't have to be scary. Instead of focusing on what it is going to be like fitting back into life in a certain place, I am instead just thankful that I get to experience many different places and people. Let the Good times continue!!

A New Blog

I decided to create a new blog. I thought that maybe this would motivate me to update it more often. I also wanted to create a new title, theme, and blog address since I will no longer just be serving in Uganda. I will be back in Uganda this summer and then shortly after the summer I will head to Mundri, s. Sudan. I will be joining a brand new team in a brand new location. I am very excited to see how everything continues to come together. I will write more later about my vision for ministry in s. Sudan and what I saw during my visits. I really am going to try my best to update this blog with anything that the Lord places on my heart.